Parenting By Manipulation – the Frank Underwood Method

Red velvet cake - office mum

This post was originally published on Scary Mommy (which is why it has "grocery store" instead of "supermarket" and why my kids are a year younger than they are now) Watching Frank Underwood doing his thing in House of Cards last night — pulling himself out of yet another impossible situation with words and subterfuge and subtlety — I ...

No-FOMO – the stuff I’m not missing

Cheltenham - Office Mum

Some friends of mine are meeting for dinner on Friday, and I can't go. The pull to cancel my plans in order to join them is strong - hovering at the fringes of my mind ever since I saw the email. I'll resist, but I'll be wondering if it's a good night, if they'll be ...

The Early Shift

three kids - Office Mum

Monday morning 5.10am Pitter patter. Toddler footsteps. All the way around to my side of the bed. "Is it morning mummy?" "No, it's not morning, I'll bring you back to your bed." 7.33am Same footsteps, more resolute attitude. "Me getting in your bed now mummy, it morning-time." Resistance is futile. 7.42am A skipping sound. That's Emmie. She's five so she skips ...

Cry me a river (and then some)

office mum post: Piper Orange is the new black

I haven't stopped crying for two days - this is only slightly more crying than usual; fueled by goodbyes to teachers and to pre-school and to another chunk of childhood. I'm a crier. Anything sets me off. Some days, everything sets me off. Like yesterday. It started early, when a friend told me she is expecting her ...

13 fathers you really, really don’t want for your kids

image: commons.wikimedia.org

Sometimes he doesn’t pick up the kids’ clothes, and sometimes the same toys sit on the stairs for days, waiting patiently to be transported up or down. He might not spot the mess in the kitchen or the Lego on the floor. But the next time you have an inward eyeroll about your kids’ dad, ...

Five things I thought I knew about parenting

no soother, honest..

"Take the path of least resistance" was the wise advice from Fiona Kennedy in this week's blog interview. This is certainly the path we took in our house this morning, which is how the two-year-old ended up in our bed at 5.15am watching Mickey Mouse on YouTube. If I'd had chocolate to hand, he'd have had ...

So shoot me

Two weeks ago, the toddler discovered television. And I am so happy. I know it's not good for him, I know at twenty months he is too young for TV, but my happiness outweighs any anxiety or guilt I might have about this. For the first time in six years, I can make dinner in the ...

You’re not the boss of me

A short post about a five-year-old girl who wants to be her own boss from now on - in a week of transcripts, here's one of our conversation last night: C: Mum, I've had enough of you telling me what to do. From now on I'm going to decide everything myself. Me: What would you do differently ...