Martyrdom doesn’t pay

Don’t be a martyr. Don’t be a mammy-martyr or a worker-bee-martyr or any other kind. It didn’t end well for Joan of Arc and it won’t end well for you.

I don’t know if it’s an Irish thing or a woman thing or a mother thing, or maybe a little bit of all of these, but so many of us are sucking it up just a little too often.

I have a real-life example: in April, I sprained my finger (all the not too gorey details here) and in June I discovered that it had in fact been broken.

Today a consultant told me that it had healed incorrectly, and that the surgery to correct it would be BIG.

His words, his intonation. He said it would be six weeks before I can type or drive and six months before it would properly heal.
And that the biggest risk would be that I’d be unhappy with the outcome – he can’t promise that it will look or feel OK at the end of all of that.

I’m so annoyed with myself. On the day it happened, I did try to go to A&E but I was told it would be a three hour wait for an x-ray. I had my daughter with me, and I was working that afternoon so there was no way I could wait.

Being a worker-bee and a mother got in the way of dealing with something that could have been easily fixed on the day.
Now I’m facing this BIG surgery and a healing time that’s a hell of a lot longer than the three hours in A+E.

I am so, so annoyed with myself right now.

And of course, my instinctive reaction? I can’t have the surgery – I need to type for work and I need to drive to do the school-run.
Mother-worker-bee obligations getting in the way again.

Bee - Office Mum

(But seriously, six weeks of no typing? Whatever about work – it’s a long time to be away from Twitter and Facebook…)

 

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8 thoughts on “Martyrdom doesn’t pay”

  1. Ah no. Did I tell you about my granny who fell over the cat and as a result had a permanently bent little finger? A doctor told her it could be fixed but it would take a few days in hospital, and she said “Don’t be silly, I have six children” and that was that. She had a bent finger for the rest of her life. But I don’t think it hurt her. (I assume yours is still painful and that’s why you need the surgery.)

    I also have a friend who severed a nerve in her finger last year picking up a wineglass and is still working on getting the feeling back in the fingertip. And then there’s my husband’s finger story… I have a lot of finger stories.

    1. You do have a lot of finger stories! I will be like your granny in the future, if I get physio – pain will go, movement will come back (I hope) and then I might be able to avoid surgery. I think I can live with a crooked finger. I’m unlikely to be a handmodel at this stage…

    2. Seriously, I didn’t tell you the half of it. My husband also has a permanently crooked finger. He uses it to freak out his sister-in-law at family functions because she thinks it’s so icky.

      I’ll stop now.

  2. Oh no! Aside from the laughing that I’m doing at Maud’s “finger stories” I am also feeling very sorry for you. What a metaphoric pain. All I can say is you’ll have to just do what the doctor says and as for Facebook and Twitter…it’s time to read and stay quiet…I hope none of us try to draw you into any heated debates!!!

    1. I tried one handed typing and one finger typing when I first broke it and it was IMPOSSIBLE. Maybe I’ll get an Iphone and try Siri? That could lead to some interesting blog posts…!

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