All I Want for Christmas

“Why are there never any pencils in this house? If I could have one thing from Santa, it would be a working pencil,” I said to my daughter as I tried to tick off her homework. She gave me a look that said “Right….you go ahead and ask for a pencil, I’m sticking with the Anna Sleigh,” and went back to her spellings.

Actually, I don’t want just one pencil – I want a pack of ten. All shiny and sharp and near to hand. The kind of pencils that don’t disappear into the vortex that swallows up pens and hair bobbins and socks. What else would I put on my wish-list? Quite a lot when I think about it:

Pencils - Office Mum
image: pixabay
  • 150 socks in exactly the same colour, that don’t change shape or size or shade in the wash, are easily matchable, and thus negate the vortex effect
  • 10 packs of kids’ hair bobbins and clips, because while they are all over my floor twenty-three hours a day, I can never find any at the just the moment when we’re getting ready to leave for school
  • 4 umbrellas that fit into handbags and glove compartments and don’t turn inside out in the wind
  • 20 pens, all working. Seriously. It is possible
  • 2 self-cleaning lunch-boxes
  • 10 packs of batteries for  all the toys that have no batteries (though then again, the current silence probably isn’t such a bad thing)
  • 25 new tea-spoons, because they’ve all gone into the vortex too
  • A new type of hoover (as yet possibly not invented) that can pick up loom-bands and Barbie shoes and hair bobbins but catch them all in a handy container, so they can be re-used. Somehow this machine must avoid picking up dirt and dust at the same time or it would be gross and really no different to an actual hoover
  • A new work wardrobe because I hate buying work clothes
  • A kitchen table that can withstand crayon, paint and marks from being stabbed repeatedly by a toddler with a fork
  • A box for library books so we don’t keep losing them, and an app that auto-renews them on time, and a copy of “Book Week” which is the book that was due back on November 8th that we can’t find anywhere in the house
  • Hooks on coats so they can be hung up – why would anyone manufacture coats without hooks? And yet, I have three such coats
  • 16 pairs of kids’ gloves that work a bit like the above-mentioned socks
  • Walls that can withstand paint splashes and pasta sauce and scuff marks from scooters
  • An alarm clock that wakes me gently and slowly instead of scaring the living daylights out of me every morning
  • Diamonds
  • World peace
  • Pencils

What’s on your list?

Santa Claus - Office Mum
Please Santa? (image: Commons.Wikimedia.Org)
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
The social media bits:Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+Share on LinkedInPin on Pinterest

9 thoughts on “All I Want for Christmas”

  1. Oh yes – imagine what we’d find in the vortex!
    I might find the blue jumper that’s missing since last winter – I’m obsessed with my missing jumper…

    1. I would like them all to be sharp to – either self-sharpening ones or perhaps a capable child could learn to do it. Or even a pencil sharpener that doesn’t end with the lead breaking off every time!

  2. The hoover would be a normal hoover that would separate out the hair bobbins, lego parts, and barbie bits and bring them to a special compartment at the top, while all the dust and fluff goes into the regular bag. And of course, it would be self-pushing and able to navigate stairs with ease.
    Maud recently posted…The pressureMy Profile

  3. Genius. And really not too much to ask for at all. But I think you aimed too low with the pencils – I think you need personalised ones to stop everyone else robbing them. Good luck with the list. (Although you do know that now you are getting nothing but pencils from everyone right?)
    Kate Takes 5 (@KateTakes5) recently posted…The SeekersMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge