“Why are there never any pencils in this house? If I could have one thing from Santa, it would be a working pencil,” I said to my daughter as I tried to tick off her homework. She gave me a look that said “Right….you go ahead and ask for a pencil, I’m sticking with the Anna Sleigh,” and went back to her spellings.
Actually, I don’t want just one pencil – I want a pack of ten. All shiny and sharp and near to hand. The kind of pencils that don’t disappear into the vortex that swallows up pens and hair bobbins and socks. What else would I put on my wish-list? Quite a lot when I think about it:
- 150 socks in exactly the same colour, that don’t change shape or size or shade in the wash, are easily matchable, and thus negate the vortex effect
- 10 packs of kids’ hair bobbins and clips, because while they are all over my floor twenty-three hours a day, I can never find any at the just the moment when we’re getting ready to leave for school
- 4 umbrellas that fit into handbags and glove compartments and don’t turn inside out in the wind
- 20 pens, all working. Seriously. It is possible
- 2 self-cleaning lunch-boxes
- 10 packs of batteries for all the toys that have no batteries (though then again, the current silence probably isn’t such a bad thing)
- 25 new tea-spoons, because they’ve all gone into the vortex too
- A new type of hoover (as yet possibly not invented) that can pick up loom-bands and Barbie shoes and hair bobbins but catch them all in a handy container, so they can be re-used. Somehow this machine must avoid picking up dirt and dust at the same time or it would be gross and really no different to an actual hoover
- A new work wardrobe because I hate buying work clothes
- A kitchen table that can withstand crayon, paint and marks from being stabbed repeatedly by a toddler with a fork
- A box for library books so we don’t keep losing them, and an app that auto-renews them on time, and a copy of “Book Week” which is the book that was due back on November 8th that we can’t find anywhere in the house
- Hooks on coats so they can be hung up – why would anyone manufacture coats without hooks? And yet, I have three such coats
- 16 pairs of kids’ gloves that work a bit like the above-mentioned socks
- Walls that can withstand paint splashes and pasta sauce and scuff marks from scooters
- An alarm clock that wakes me gently and slowly instead of scaring the living daylights out of me every morning
- World peace
What’s on your list?
10 thoughts on “All I Want for Christmas”
I think I’d like a ticket for access to said vortex 🙂
Lucy recently posted…Obeo food waste solution: review and giveaway
Oh yes – imagine what we’d find in the vortex!
I might find the blue jumper that’s missing since last winter – I’m obsessed with my missing jumper…
I’m with you on the pencils but I’d like them to be self sharpening!
Sleep… I’d like a voucher for a full night’s sleep, redeemable at any chosen time!
Naomi Lavelle recently posted…Christmas memories (a seasonal linky)
I would like them all to be sharp to – either self-sharpening ones or perhaps a capable child could learn to do it. Or even a pencil sharpener that doesn’t end with the lead breaking off every time!
With you on the hair bobbins. And I live with someone with severe teaspoon-related neurosis… http://tendernessontheblock.com/2014/11/20/where-have-all-the-teaspoons-gone/
That’s brilliant! I can relate. We all need to vent and disappearing spoons are a good place to start.
The hoover would be a normal hoover that would separate out the hair bobbins, lego parts, and barbie bits and bring them to a special compartment at the top, while all the dust and fluff goes into the regular bag. And of course, it would be self-pushing and able to navigate stairs with ease.
Maud recently posted…The pressure
I just took a sharp breath of excitement reading that – that’s genius. You need to invent that before anyone else does.
Genius. And really not too much to ask for at all. But I think you aimed too low with the pencils – I think you need personalised ones to stop everyone else robbing them. Good luck with the list. (Although you do know that now you are getting nothing but pencils from everyone right?)
Kate Takes 5 (@KateTakes5) recently posted…The Seekers
An unlimited supply of the correct light bulbs (as opposed to the ones that don’t fit!), an unlimited supply of wooly winter hats, the right type of batteries so that anytime new kids come to our house I don’t have to apologise that I didn’t get a chance to get new batteries for a certain toy … Oh and loads of lunch boxes … And world peace too!(By the way your box for library books is an apic idea!)
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