We need to have a little talk

So. Baby. It’s time to chat.

Well, you’re not a baby, and that’s sort of the point. You’re two years, one month and one week old, and it’s two years, one month and one week since I last had proper sleep. Yes, yes, I know there was that month before Christmas – believe me, I think about that a lot, and wonder what prompted you to sleep and what caused you to stop again.

But overall, for such a very long time now, I’ve been doing without.

It wasn’t so bad when you were an actual baby – in hindsight, I worried about it more than I should. But you’re two now. And we need sleep, your dad and I. We need to be able to go to bed at night with a reasonable expectation that we might have a full night’s sleep.

Or at least, that if you do wake up and you do insist on coming into our bed, that you sleep when you get there. That you don’t spend two solid hours singing and tapping your heels on the headboard and climbing across your dad to try to reach his phone and sitting on my back because … well, actually, what was that about?

That you don’t attempt to wake your sister at 4am to play. That you don’t roar crying when your dad prevents you from leaving our room to go into hers. That you don’t try to go downstairs at 5am to watch television. And that you don’t choose five minutes before the alarm goes off to finally go to sleep – that’s just too much to bear. Grown-ups are sensitive like that.

I forgive you every morning – how can I resist the kisses and the smile and the tousled blonde hair and the contented “My mummy. My mummy” murmurings that accompany the cuddles when you do wake up.

And I’ll always forgive you. And there are no promises or threats or bribes or consequences. I have nothing to offer, I’m just begging; pleading with you; it’s time to sleep.

(*or learn to go downstairs on your own and put on the television)

 

Yes, it's you I'm talking to
Yes, it’s you I’m talking to
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21 thoughts on “We need to have a little talk”

    1. I like the idea of putting it on a milestone chart Gwen, nice one. I guess I better wait till we get a bed for him though – encouraging him to climb out of the cot wouldn’t be great now that I think about it

  1. Oh Lord, I can see why you forgive him, too cute for words, hope he hears your pleas! I’m sure you’ve thought of this but does he still nap? Had to cut our little mans nap in order to get some chance of sleep.
    Elizabeth MacDonnell recently posted…Dear CotMy Profile

    1. Elizabeth I was reading your comment on my phone earlier, at my daughters’ gym class, nodding away, thinking “well, he doesn’t have a formal nap but if he falls asleep on the school run we let him have half an hour” . Then looked over at my out-for-the-count boy in his buggy and dove across the room to wake him, so thanks for the timely reminder!!

  2. Could it be teeth? His two-year molars? Even if he doesn’t seem to be in pain, it might be what’s stopping him sleeping…? You have all my sympathies – and I never had to get up and go in to work in the morning after those nights.
    Christine recently posted…Apricot breakfast muffinsMy Profile

    1. I didn’t think of teeth – I guess because he’s not in pain, just kind of…bored? But I must have a look – I’m bad with teeth, never know when they get them or how many they have

  3. Its amazing what one will do to try and get a little bit of sleep esp when going to the office next day! We have occasionally resorted to letting LO watch “in the night garden” on the I pad while sitting in our bed between us- at least we can sort of doze then:-) Hope you manage to get some rest this weekend with that gorgeous little man.

    1. Yep we have resorted to same – Mickey Mouse on YouTube at 5am is such a bad habit but sometimes, as you say, you’ll just do anything. Thanks a mill for the lovely comment!

  4. ah I’ll tell ya, my little guy was 2 and every night he would wake, either roaring (while his brother was in the same room) and refusing to go back asleep, or he’d get into our bed and spend HOURS like some sort of human swiss army knife with various limbs shooting out sporadically at different angles but always in the ribs/back/stomach/face. So I decided to ignore the ‘oh never let him into your bed you’ll never get him out’ advice and moved his little bed right up beside our bed and let him sleep back in our room -it was like one big giant bed. And we let him sleep in there, and when he woke at night, either myself or hubby would reach over just to reassure him. And he slept, and we slept and we were much happier and then we got new bunkbeds in his room, and all of a sudden being in his own room with his brother and sister and those bunk beds was very appealing. But I didn’t let him. He’d ask and I’d say, ah not just yet little man, we’ll wait until your birthday (which was a few weeks later) and one day he just said “mam can you please fix up the bed for me?” so i ‘gave in’ and said alrighty and he moved in that night and that was the end of that. Even now I miss sleep, I really do and will always feel I’ll never make up the deficit, but you know they are only little people for such a short time and all they want it to be cuddled into the people they love most in the world and that ain’t all that bad and like you I can forgive EVERYTHING when I get those snugglehuggles of a morn. xxx

    1. Oh Paula that’s just gorgeous! You’ve brought a tear to my eye 🙂 I’m kind of thinking now about a cot-bed mattress that we have in the attic that could maybe fit on one side of our bed… Our new bed is on order and I’m hoping it’ll help but at least, if nothing else, it means one of us can go into him while the other gets sleep, whereas at the moment neither of us sleeps. Because of that whole swiss army knife thing – love it!!

  5. My daughter was just like that. We made it worse of course by bringing her into our bed. In the morning there were 3 very grumpy people. Me and hubs were at each others throats due to lack of sleep. I decided to put a bed into her room when we moved. She was about the same age as your little cutie pie. I went into her room, told her to lie down and mommy was going to lie down with her. She was quite happy with that and I normally fell asleep in there. We all got sleep, even if it was in different beds. It didn’t take too long until I was jut sitting on the bed for a minute and coming out again. Best thing I ever did. I have one in my little mans room now too. Sometimes it the best nights sleep I get. Hope he sleep for you soon.
    caroline @ My Country Girl Ramblings recently posted…Katy Hopkins : I am an Irish MammieMy Profile

    1. Thanks Caroline – I am pinning everything on the bed we’ve ordered, for exactly the reasons you say. I’m delighted to hear from someone that it actually worked. That’s what I’m hoping – we can take turns to lie in his bed with him. If nothing else, it means we can do shifts and one of us can get sleep!!

  6. I was reading your post thinking “OFFICE MUM WAS IN OUR BEDROOM!!!!!” Things have Markedly improved since we cut out the nap (around when he was two, too) We still have the feet digging into us (his bed is beside ours) but he rarely actually wakes for any longer than a minute or two. And sometimes, about once every few months HE SLEEPS THE NIGHT. And I feel like someone has given me about ten years of life back…
    Emily recently posted…Paper Dolls and Blueberry SliceMy Profile

    1. Maybe I was Emily – still chasing those homemade scones 😉
      After reading your comment today I decided that’s it on the naps – actively going to keep him awake even in the car if possible now. Crossing everything…

  7. We are 8 months without proper sleep, I was hoping that would end soon but maybe not?! At least you know you’re not on your own going by the posts above but I guess that’s no consolation at 2am! L has woken at 5am since he was born, thankfully he goes off again once he’s in with us but we could be in and out of the room numerous times before that! I’ve resigned myself to the fact we mat never get a full nights sleep again!! I hope you manage to catch some well deserved Zzz’s soon 🙂
    Louise (@TattooedMumsy) recently posted…Me & Mine FebruaryMy Profile

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